How to Get Over a Breakup || Self-Help:
 |
| How to Get Over a Breakup |
This content will give you some tips and advice on how to get over your ex and get on with your life as quickly as possible.
So here we talk about how to get your ex back…. and this advice definitely applies to those who want their ex back, but it’s also relevant for anyone who just wants to move on and find someone new. So, let’s get started!
To begin with, I need to give you a bit of unfortunate news… and that’s that all breakups, regardless of the circumstances, are painful to some degree. There’s really no magic solution or quick fix that will make your heartache disappear overnight. There are, however, a few things you can do to help suppress the post-breakup emotions and help you get over your ex as quickly as possible.
Accept the Reality:
The first step is to accept the reality of your situation. It’s not helpful or productive to deny the reality that you and your partner are no longer together, nor is it going to do you any good to try and talk things over with your ex. Instead, try to own up to the situation you’re faced with and accept that your ex is no longer a focal point of your life. Accepting that can be painful, but now is the time to let out your emotions and come to grips with life as it stands now that your relationship has ended. Don’t be afraid to do a bit of crying or spend some time alone in the first day after your breakup, especially if it helps you accept the reality of what’s happened. But do your very best to avoid having these emotional breakdowns while your ex is present.
In fact, during these early stages, it’s not a good idea to speak to your ex at all. In particular, avoid begging, pleading, or apologizing to your ex in an attempt to reverse their decision or in hopes of finding closure. Many people will try to search for answers after a breakup — trying to learn what they did wrong or why their ex decided to end things — which is not the right thing to do, especially in the first few days after your breakup. Instead, you and your ex should go your separate ways, and you should try to get control of your emotions and accept your reality without looking for answers or asking yourself what you might’ve done differently.
Now, moving on... once you’ve come to grips with the reality of your situation, it’s time to remove all visible reminders of your ex. There’s nothing worse than being reminded of a painful memory every time you walk into your bedroom… which is why one of the most important ways to move on is to remove visible reminders around your house. Take down photos, love notes, gifts from your ex, and any other items that might remind you of your past relationship and putting them in a box in your attic. Eventually, you can open them up again, but only when you’ve moved on completely. For now, you don’t want to be reminded of your ex. You should also make sure that you “hide” or “mute” your ex’s status updates and notifications on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. This will ensure that you’re not reminded of your ex and seeing what they’re up to every time you log in to your social media accounts. I don’t recommend deleting or blocking your ex completely -- it’s usually enough just to hide their status updates or posts from your news feed. If you’re really struggling with self-control and can’t seem to stop yourself from texting or calling your ex, I also recommend writing down your ex’s number on a piece of paper and giving it to a friend, and then deleting it from your phone completely. You don’t need to contact your ex right now, and deleting their info from your contacts list is a good way to make sure you don’t do something dumb. With all reminders of your ex now removed from your life,
Stay Busy all Time:
The next step is to stay busy and keep yourself occupied at all times. If you sit around the house doing nothing, you’re giving yourself a chance to think things over and bring undue heartache upon yourself. It’s best to keep busy with work, school, hobbies, or any other activities that keep your attention focused on something other than your ex. Even watching a favorite TV show or playing video games will take your mind off the breakup for a while. You should also lean on your friends and family. Try to avoid being alone whenever possible – go out with friends or spend time with family, even if it’s the last thing you feel like doing. Trust me when I say that being social is one of the single most effective ways of getting through a breakup. It’s also important during all of this that you continue to maintain healthy habits. Scientists have proven that vigorous exercise produces ‘feel good’ chemicals such as seratonin and dopamine in your brain. That means that an intense 30-60 minute workout 3-4 times a week can help you avoid depression and feel better about life in general. It’s also important to maintain healthy eating habits and generally take care of yourself so that you don’t add any extra stresses on your body or mind. All of those things will help speed up the process and mimize your heartache, but I should also mention that the single best way to recover from a breakup is to find someone new.
Now, I realize that at this point you’re probably not really interested in going on dates or going out and meeting members of the opposite sex, but if you can force yourself to get out there and start dating again, you’ll be doing yourself a big favor and you’ll find that the breakup emotions completely disappear once you find a new guy or girl to replace your ex. So, as soon as you can stomach it, get out there and start meeting people and going on dates. Online dating is a great way to start, so consider signing up for a few free datings sites as soon as possible. If you happen to talk with your ex (either on purpose or as a result of an accidental encounter), try to stay positive and keep things cordial. Even if your breakup was nasty and you hate your ex’s guts, starting a fight or being mean to them to try and “get even” is not going to help you feel any better and usually just leads to more problems and drags out your recovery. I recommend ignoring your ex completely and avoiding any non-essential contact with him or her until you’re fully over the breakup.
Finally, if you find yourself struggling with depression and heartache even after you’ve done all the things, try to remember that every day that passes is another step towards a full recovery. You may not feel any better today than you did a week ago, but I can promise that in a month or two you’ll look back and realize that each day you spent a bit less time thinking about your ex. Sooner than later, you’ll be back to normal and completely over your ex.
How to Get Over a Breakup:
(Learn from Others To Heal Yourself)
 |
| How to Get Over a Breakup |
At some point in our lives, almost every one of us will have our heart broken.
My friend Kathy planned her wedding when she was in middle school. She would meet her future husband by age 27, get engaged a year later and get married a year after that. But when Kathy turned 27, she didn't find a husband. She found a lump in her breast. She went through many months of harsh chemotherapy and painful surgeries, and then just as she was ready to jump back into the dating world, she found a lump in her other breast and had to do it all over again. Kathy recovered, though, and she was eager to resume her search for a husband as soon as her eyebrows grew back in.
(When you're going on first dates in New York City, you need to be able to express a wide range of emotions). Soon afterwards, she met Rich and fell in love. The relationship was everything she hoped it would be. Six months later, after a lovely weekend in New England, Rich made reservations at their favorite romantic restaurant. Kathy knew he was going to propose, and she could barely contain her excitement. But Rich did not propose to Kathy that night. He broke up with her. As deeply as he cared for Kathy -- and he did -- he simply wasn't in love. Kathy was shattered. Her heart was truly broken, and she now faced yet another recovery. But five months after the breakup, Kathy still couldn't stop thinking about Rich. Her heart was still very much broken. The question is:................... Why? Why was this incredibly strong and determined woman unable to marshal the same emotional resources that got her through four years of cancer treatments? Why do so many of us flounder when we're trying to recover from heartbreak? Why do the same coping mechanisms that get us through all kinds of life challenges fail us so miserably when our heart gets broken?
In over 20 years of private practice, I have seen people of every age and background
face every manner of heartbreak, and what I've learned is this: when your heart is broken, the same instincts you ordinarily rely on will time and again lead you down the wrong path. You simply cannot trust what your mind is telling you. For example, we know from studies of heartbroken people that having a clear understanding of why the relationship ended is really important for our ability to move on. Yet time and again, when we are offered a simple and honest explanation like the one Rich offered Kathy, we reject it. Heartbreak creates such dramatic emotional pain, our mind tells us the cause must be equally dramatic. And that gut instinct is so powerful, it can make even the most reasonable and measured of us come up with mysteries and conspiracy theories
where none exist. Kathy became convinced something must have happened during her romantic getaway with Rich that soured him on the relationship, and she became obsessed with figuring out what that was.
And so she spent countless hours going through every minute of that weekend in her mind, searching her memory for clues that were not there. Kathy's mind tricked her into initiating this wild goose chase.
But what compelled her to commit to it for so many months? Heartbreak is far more insidious than we realize. There is a reason we keep going down one rabbit hole after another, even when we know it's going to make us feel worse.
According to Studies:
Brain studies have shown that the withdrawal of romantic love activates the same mechanisms in our brain that get activated when addicts are withdrawing from substances like cocaine or opioids.
Kathy was going through withdrawal. And since she could not have the heroin of actually being with Rich, her unconscious mind chose the methadone of her memories with him. Her instincts told her she was trying to solve a mystery, but what she was actually doing was getting her fix.
This is what makes heartbreak so difficult to heal. Addicts know they're addicted. They know when they're shooting up. But heartbroken people do not. But you do now.
And if your heart is broken, you cannot ignore that. You have to recognize that, as compelling as the urge is, with every trip down memory lane, every text you send, every second you spend stalking your ex on social media you are just feeding your addiction, deepening your emotional pain
and complicating your recovery. Getting over heartbreak is not a journey. It's a fight, and your reason is your strongest weapon.
There is no breakup explanation that's going to feel satisfying. No rationale can take away the pain you feel. So don't search for one, don't wait for one, just accept the one you were offered or make up one yourself and then put the question to rest, because you need that closure to resist the addiction. And you need something else as well: you have to be willing to let go, to accept that it's over. Otherwise, your mind will feed on your hope and set you back. Hope can be incredibly destructive when your heart is broken. Heartbreak is a master manipulator. The ease with which it gets our mind to do the absolute opposite of what we need in order to recover is remarkable.
One of the most common tendencies we have when our heart is broken is to idealize the person who broke it. We spend hours remembering their smile, how great they made us feel, that time we hiked up the mountain and made love under the stars.
All that does is make our loss feel more painful. We know that. Yet we still allow our mind to cycle through one greatest hit after another, like we were being held hostage by our own passive-aggressive Spotify playlist. Heartbreak will make those thoughts pop into your mind. And so to avoid idealizing, you have to balance them out by remembering their frown, not just their smile, how bad they made you feel, the fact that after the lovemaking, you got lost coming down the mountain, argued like crazy and didn't speak for two days. What I tell my patients is to compile an exhaustive list of all the ways the person was wrong for you, all the bad qualities, all the pet peeves, and then keep it on your phone. And once you have your list, you have to use it. When I hear even a hint of idealizing or the faintest whiff of nostalgia in a session, I go, "Phone, please." Your mind will try to tell you they were perfect. But they were not, and neither was the relationship. And if you want to get over them, you have to remind yourself of that, frequently. None of us is immune to heartbreak.
My neighbour Miguel was a 56-year-old senior executive in a software company.
Five years after his wife died, l he finally felt ready to start dating again .He soon met Sharon, and a whirlwind romance ensued.
They introduced each other to their adult children after one month, and they moved in together after two. When middle-aged people date, they don't mess around.
It's like "Love, Actually" meets "The Fast and the Furious." (Haha) Miguel was happier than he had been in years. But the night before their first anniversary, Sharon left him. She had decided to move to the West Coast to be closer to her children, and she didn't want a long-distance relationship. Miguel was totally blindsided and utterly devastated. He barely functioned at work for many, many months, and he almost lost his job as a result. .Another consequence of heartbreak is that feeling alone and in pain can significantly impair our intellectual functioning, especially when performing complex tasks involving logic and reasoning. It temporarily lowers our IQ. But it wasn't just the intensity of Miguel's grief that confused his employers; it was the duration. Miguel was confused by this as well and really quite embarrassed by it. "What's wrong with me?" he asked me in our session. "What adult spends almost a year getting over a one-year relationship?" Actually, many do. Heartbreak shares all the hallmarks of traditional loss and grief: insomnia, intrusive thoughts, immune system dysfunction. Forty percent of people experience clinically measurable depression. Heartbreak is a complex psychological injury. It impacts us in a multitude of ways.
For example, Sharon was both very social
and very active. She had dinners at the house every week. She and Miguel went on camping trips with other couples. Although Miguel was not religious, he accompanied Sharon to church every Sunday, where he was welcomed into the congregation. Miguel didn't just lose his girlfriend;
he lost his entire social life, the supportive community of Sharon's church. He lost his identity as a couple. Now, Miguel recognized the breakup had left this huge void in his life, but what he failed to recognize is that it left far more than just one. And that is crucial, not just because it explains why heartbreak could be so devastating, but because it tells us how to heal.
How to Fix Broken Heart:
To fix your broken heart, you have to identify these voids in your life and fill them, and I mean all of them. The voids in your identity: you have to reestablish who you are and what your life is about. The voids in your social life, the missing activities, even the empty spaces on the wall where pictures used to hang. But none of that will do any good unless you prevent the mistakes that can set you back, the unnecessary searches for explanations, idealizing your ex instead of focusing on how they were wrong for you, indulging thoughts and behaviors that still give them a starring role in this next chapter of your life when they shouldn't be an extra. Getting over heartbreak is hard, but if you refuse to be misled by your mind and you take steps to heal, you can significantly minimize your suffering. And it won't just be you who benefit from that. You'll be more present with your friends, more engaged with your family, not to mention the billions of dollars of compromised productivity in the workplace that could be avoided. So if you know someone who is heartbroken, have compassion, because social support has been found to be important for their recovery. And have patience, because it's going to take them longer to move on than you think it should. And if you're hurting, know this: it's difficult, it is a battle within your own mind, and you have to be diligent to win. But you do have weapons. You can fight. And you will heal.
Heal Yourself by Using 5 Powerful Techniques:
 |
| How to Get Over a Breakup |
In the japanese art of kintsugi artists
repair broken pottery using dust from gold or other precious metals it's meant not to hide the break and the repair but to emphasize it as a beautiful part of the pottery's history similarly when we experience a break in our heart we have the choice about whether we'll forever view it as a wound or turn it into art.
If you're experiencing heartbreak here are five things you can do to grow through your grief
No 1. Jot in a Journal
Instead of playing your heartbreak over and over in your head like a broken record
record your feelings in a journal it will help create some distance and perspective
between you and your pain
No 2. Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body
When we're sad and depressed it's like
this weight on our chest exercise helps to lighten this load by getting us up and moving exercise not only improves our mood causing our brains to release endorphins it helps us sleep better which helps us feel more energy and vitality so that our present reality doesn't seem so dark the hardest part can be starting so make it easy just get up get your shoes
and go for a walk somewhere beautiful
No 3. Shift Your Thoughts to Thankfulness
When we're feeling heartbroken it's hard to think of anything but how we're hurting one of the easiest and most powerful ways to shift our thoughts is by creating a gratitude list tart by focusing on three things you're grateful for but don't just list them give details get specific think of people and experiences that have brought real meaning and joy into your life and day by day you'll feel ready to make a new start.
No 4. Change Your Tune
We try to drown our sorrows in songs that amplify our angst yet music that matches our melancholy mood only makes us feel sad and tired instead we need to lift our spirits get energized get inspired instead turn to tunes that are empowering and make you feel alive.
No 5. Let Them Go
The hardest thing about a breakup isn't actually releasing the person it's releasing all the possibilities we projected onto them
but here's the thing those possibilities were never reality so it's time to release them in favor of what can actually be when you're holding on to the past your present will pass you by it's time to let them go so your real future can arrive.
Signs You are Struggling Lack of Purpose:
Here are three signs you're struggling with a lack of purpose.
Sign no 1.
You feel pressure to know what you want to do with your life.
Sign No 2.
You've lost interest in your own life and feel disconnected.
Sign No 3.
You don't know what your skills are or you feel you lack them hope is not lost you can get through this having purpose and meaning in our lives helps guide us through the ups and downs and creates structure in our day-to-day life.
How You Can Handle Your Broken Heart:
Now we're going to talk about how to handle a heartbreak and how to heal your heart one of our friend have asked from me
that how can I handle my sorrow of losing a loved one how can I handle the Heartbreak the sorrow of heartbreak.
Well first of all I must say a heartbreak or losing a loud one is one of the most hardest
experiences that a human can undergo right because we have that mental Bond
and mental attachment within people when that mental attachment is broken we start to suffer we start to cry and we start to Veil.
There are some ways that you can get over this syrup.
So this whole content I dedicated for all the people out there who are going through hard breaks and who are experiencing tough times in their life.
There are some ways and things that
we can do to heal ourselves but remember
this healing process takes time it's like a bond right wound is not healed in a day or two days or three days it takes time right. We have to be in a constant process of healing that bone so same goes with a heartbreak. What we can do to heal our heart from a heartbreak.
No 1. If You Need to Cry, It's Ok to Cry
Remember that right there are some people who are going through a heart breaks and they don't like to cry they pretend to be there ok right. They pretend to the world that they are okay and they have got over the problem they smile but not inside. Remember if you need to cry it's okay to cry
right go to a private place or go to your room and cry it's okay because crying is on
of the most natural way of removing the pressure that is building up inside your mind and inside your heart so it's okay to cry especially for men because men always
try to hide their tears and they pretend
to be they're okay but remember men are also allowed to cry okay. If you need to cry and if you need to remove and release that pressure that is Building inside then it's not a problem of shedding a tear.
No 2. Find Good Listener
You can find a person who you can share
your pain and who you can share the sorrow and the pressure that is Building
inside you right well you need to be wise when you choose this person why because there are some people out there who give hate comments and hateful comments to the person who cheated you right when they give those hate comments and with when they try to build up the hate within you right it is not good for you it's not good for your mental health and it's not good for your physical health either. What you have to do choose the person wisely and share your pain with him. Find a person who can share that sorrow right that person can be your mother, your father maybe you're one of your friends then maybe one of your teachers or mentors whoever it is find a person who keep listening to you without saying anything without giving many advice to you find a person who keeps listening to you right find a person who you can share your pain that is Building inside.
No 3. Practice
This is the most important thing that you need to practice and this is one of the things that many people who are in relationships doesn't like to think about now what is that of a great teacher Supreme Buddha said always reflect and recollect in your mind that one day that one day I have to be parted and separated from all the dear and agreeable people in my life isn't that the truth yes it is that is the truth but we don't like to think about that when people are in relationships they will think it will ruin their relationship it will ruin the bond between people but in reality it is not
remember when you think that I have to
be separated one day I have to be separated from this person that is that is sitting in front of me the person who I love most one day I have to be separated from this person at least at the death. I have a little time to love this person give my love my kindness my attention my compassion to this person. I must give this fullest love to this person remember true love will never break your heart that's amazing isn't it true love when you love someone truly if that person leaves you you will never be heartbroken but if you become attached to that person if you are mentally too much attached to that person and that attachment is the thing that breaks your heart that is why Buddha said attachment brings the suffering to your life So remember true love will never break your heart but the attachment does right.
Remember when you truly love someone
your heart will never be broken right. What you have to think is always whenever you are possible you need to think I have to be separated from these people around me
right. When you think that your mind is getting prepared to face that situation right you can imagine how I'm going to recover myself if this person left me how I'm going to do that right then if your mind is pre-prepared for that situation when you're going through such a situation in reality
you will start to think ah this is what I was thinking about right. When you when your mind is get prepared to face that reality in the life right you can be more confident you can be more strong when you face that situation.
In real life that is the thing that you have to always think about that and also remember I told you heartbreak is like a bond remember if you need to heal this wound you need to decrease the amount of touching it right now I don't say that you need to forget the person right you cannot forget the person but you can reduce the amount of attention for those past thoughts because when you're alone right after a breakup when you're alone right you're thinking about the moments and the things that happened in the past. The more you think about those things the more you will be frustrated and the more you will be sad
so what you have to do reduce the amount
of attention that you are giving to that kind of thoughts right. You can do that but you cannot forget that from time to time from those thoughts will haunt your mind but when you're not giving any much more attention when you're not giving much attention to those kind of thoughts constantly and with the time it will fade away right you don't try to stop the
thoughts but let the thoughts to fade away from your life and keep this in your mind whatever the terrible situation that you are going through in your life it is going to be changed one day because none of our life experiences are permanent right every experience every tough situation every happy time and every experience that we face in our own life are in public they will change with the time. Remember you're going to heal one day you're going to be okay one day right so have some experience with these tough situations in our life remember these experiences make our life more and more strong.
I hope you got some ideas to how to heal your broken heart and most importantly don't forget to remember what our great teacher Supreme was the taught one day we all have to be separated from every loving person around us so we have a short time in this life so we have to give our fullest love to these people around us and expect nothing from this world because our expectations will make us suffering so remember that.
Thanks for reading …. if you have comments or questions, please use the comments section
See you next time!!!
____________________________________
____________________________________
Thanks For Visiting
For More Please Visit Daily:
Self Development
____________________________________
____________________________________
SELF DEVELOPMENT
✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓✓
•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°°••°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
0 Comments